


Still waters run deep

by Everything99



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: BAMF Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Blood, Emotional Hurt, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hurt Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Hurt Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, M/M, Minor Injuries, Nicky destroys another soul with his words, Nicky is angry, Nile tries to figure out everything, Sad Booker | Sebastien le Livre, morning after Merrick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:53:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29044164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everything99/pseuds/Everything99
Summary: Then several things happen at once: Nicky turns around in a lightning-fast movement, something gleams metallic and suddenly Booker utters a French curse, staggering backwards and staring in disbelief at the knife that is stuck in his shoulder.The morning after Merrick the team starts to deal with Booker's betrayal and it is Nicky's turn to express his anger.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 36
Kudos: 319





	Still waters run deep

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> This is my take on Nicky's reaction to Booker's betrayal: never underestimate the quiet ones :D
> 
> And a big thank you to velvetneedles for beta reading and helping me with the summary! <3 All remaining mistakes are my own!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The morning after jumping out of a skyscraper, Nile does not expect to wake up to the smell of bacon and therefore lies quietly on her back for a few seconds while she tries to find out whether she's still asleep. Her growling stomach tells her otherwise, however, because apparently dying and coming back to life is quite stimulating for the metabolism and makes you damn hungry.

The sore muscles she expected from yesterday's questionable actions – hey, she was shot several times and threw a teenager in a ridiculous hoodie blazer out of a window – do not materialize, and Nile doesn't know whether to embrace or curse this aspect of immortality.

She decides to put everything that has to do with it in the farthest corner of her head and see to it that her stomach gets something to eat. At least this is a task she can easily handle and that is comforting considering all of the changes she has experienced in the past few days.  
  
To her surprise, there is only one other person in the kitchen of the house Andy chose to stay for last night. Nicky stands calmly at the stove and turns the bacon in the pan with practiced movements that Nile envies for their elegance. He's wearing something similar to the evening in Goussainville. His back - under the dark fabric of his shirt - is turned towards her and he doesn't give the impression that he was tortured in a laboratory for 18 hours.  
  
"Good morning, Nile," he says softly without turning around and Nile almost startles because she didn't expect him to notice her. But this man has been around for 900 years and has probably learned to tell the steps of his companions apart. And it's no wonder with as close as he and Joe are.  
  
"Hi," she says awkwardly and stands indecisively in the doorway until Nicky points to an empty chair at the table, still keeping his eyes on the pan.  
  
"Please take a seat. Would you like tea or coffee? "  
  
"Uh...coffee please," she replies and sinks into one of the chairs. “I can go straight back to bed without caffeine,” she adds jokingly, trying to lighten the mood that is overshadowed by yesterday's events, despite the pleasantly normal noises of sizzling bacon.  
  
As if Nicky had done it hundreds of times - this man has probably witnessed the development of this hot drink – he pushes a cup filled with wonderful fresh coffee over the table to her and the subtle smile that plays around the corner of his mouth is what Nile sees as a victory. However, she cannot help but notice the deep circles under his eyes; adorning his pale face.  
  
"Thank you." She puts both hands around the cup and sighs softly as the pleasant warmth envelops her fingers. Nicky gives her a friendly nod and goes back to the stove, where he begins to lift the bacon from the pan onto a plate. Without taking her eyes off him, Nile carefully takes a sip and waits until it has reached her stomach before she speaks to Nicky: “Did you sleep at all? You look terrible. And I say that knowing some people would be very likely to throw themselves at your feet if you looked at them."  
  
To be honest, she doesn't know how to behave towards him. She had so little time to get to know him and Joe better before they were kidnapped. Nevertheless, the couple was extremely nice and welcoming at dinner in France and Nile is sure that has not changed.  
  
"No," Nicky says simply, his tone still soft when he answers her and puts a plate of toast and bacon in front of her. "And it's enough for me that Joe throws himself at my feet."  
  
Nile, who didn't expect such a dry line, gives a surprised laugh and is rewarded with a small but mischievous grin from Nicky. This almost makes her forget the essential aspect of their conversation: Nicky hasn't slept. And with the way she felt after jumping out of the skyscraper, his body should actually be pretty exhausted. After all, he and Joe didn't get the gentle treatment in the lab.  
  
Before she can go into further detail, Nicky shrugs his shoulders, almost embarrassed. "Unfortunately, I can only be of service with toast and bacon. The kitchen has nothing more to offer here and I didn't want to leave the house." He doesn't say why he didn't want to leave the house and Nile doesn't dig deeper due to the dull shine of his eyes.  
  
"Hello? I could die for bacon!" Nile exclaims in an exaggeratedly dramatic way and inhales the salty smell of the said food deeply, but considering past events and their significance her joke leaves a bitter aftertaste.

She clears her throat uncomfortably and starts to eat while Nicky silently prepares another plate of toast and places it on the seat next to Nile, although he doesn't sit down. She opens her mouth to ask him why he isn't eating too when Joe's voice comes from the hallway.  
  
"Nicolo?" Even if she doesn't know him that well, she hears the slight alarm in his voice and Nicky notices it too.  
  
"In the kitchen, my heart," he replies quickly and gives Joe a tender smile as he enters the room. The dark-haired warrior immediately relaxes when he catches sight of Nicky and Nile realizes that Joe looks just as exhausted as Nicky just in other ways: his face has a pained expression, and his eyes are slightly puffy as if he had cried last night.  
  
And Nile can't blame him in the slightest, smiling encouragingly at him to make him feel like he doesn't have to hide anything from her. Sympathetic crinkles form around his eyes when he returns her smile, but the humorous spark that lurked in his gaze in Goussainville is missing.  
  
She concentrates on her breakfast when Joe and Nicky kiss and then put their foreheads together, which is so much more intimate than wild making out, as Nile has seen several times in public with other couples. Quietly mumbled words wander back and forth between them and despite the fact that Nile tries hard to focus on her coffee, she still listens to them a little.  
  
"Did you even sleep, Nicky?" Out of the corner of her eye she sees how Joe puts a hand on Nicky's cheek, gently stroking it with his thumb.  
  
“I'm fine, Joe. Really. I can catch up on sleep,” Nicky assures him just as quietly and puts his hand on Joe's, squeezing it gently. "Sit down. Unfortunately, there is only toast.”  
  
Joe makes an unsatisfied noise. “You should have woken me up. Then I could have stayed up with you and...”  
  
"Yusuf", Nicky interrupts him and there is so much warmth in his bright eyes that Nile quickly takes a long sip of coffee and burns her tongue, although the pain disappears seconds later. “You needed sleep. And I...”  
  
“You need sleep too! You were in that damn lab with me!” Joe interjects, his voice still lowered, but clearer.  
  
"... don't sleep very well after heavy missions,” Nicky ends the sentence calmly, as if Joe hadn't said anything. "When this is all over, you can tie me to the bed and we won't go out for a week, okay?"  
  
Joe sighs deeply but laughs softly. “A week in bed, huh? I like that thought."  
  
With another kiss, Nicky urges him to the seat next to Nile, where the other plate is already waiting. Joe falls heavily on the chair, accepts Nicky's coffee cup with a grateful smile and leans into the touch as Nicky briefly lets his hand slide through Joe's curls.  
  
“You're an angel,” Joe says, biting off the jam toast that Nicky has already made. It's just a small bite and Joe chews it for a long time, but Nile thinks it's better than not eating at all.  
  
"If I'm an angel, you are my heaven." Nicky rummages behind them at the sink and makes this statement as casually as if it were the most normal thing in the world.  
  
"Oh man," Nile says, eating her last piece of toast. "You're really disgustingly cute."  
  
Joe chuckles into his mug, but the chuckles stop abruptly when Booker walks into the kitchen. There is a really crushing silence for a few heartbeats and nobody moves. The problem with the Frenchman is that Nile absolutely thinks his betrayal sucks and can only shake her head at how he turned over the people who have accompanied him for centuries. But she understands his motives, has seen the deep pain that nests in him when he told her about his family, and she likes him. Nile sees in him someone who understands her current situation with her family.  
  
Booker shifts his weight, his bloodshot eyes darting back and forth between them and finally he starts moving and comes to the table. "Morning," he mumbles.  
  
Joe pretends not to have heard him, his eyes stubbornly fixed on the jam toast, although he only pushes the bitten bread around on his plate. Nile raises her hand in greeting. "Hello."  
  
"Good morning," Nicky says and Booker freezes in alarm, his hands on the back of the chair he has just pulled back to sit down. As if the Italian had yelled at him, but Nile sees no hostile behavior in Nicky's grip as he pours coffee into another mug.  
  
Even Joe takes a closer look at his lover and Nile's last strip of bacon remains lonely on her plate because she is absolutely confused by everyone's behavior.  
  
"I hope you saved a bunch of bacon for me, Nicky," Andy says as she appears in the kitchen. The warrior looks tired and beaten but moves with the same confidence and strength with which Nile first met her. She favors the side that Nicky patched up yesterday, but otherwise nothing of her new mortality can be seen.  
  
Nicky hands her the coffee cup and a plate on which you can barely see the toast under all the bacon. "That is out of the question."  
  
Andy narrows her eyes into ice blue triangles yet sits down at the breakfast table with her plate and mug, without taking her attention from Nicky. "Everything is fine so far?"  
  
"Always,” Nicky says simply and somehow automatic.  
  
Joe makes a face. “According to the _circumstances_ , boss.” The swipe at Booker cannot be ignored, Booker stares at the floor. "And you?"  
  
Andy's snort is barking. "As good as new. And now eat your girl-toast. Nicky didn't make my toast that sweet."  
  
Joe shakes his head with a grin. "Bacon is also difficult to smear."  
  
"Exactly," Nicky says, stressing Joe's opinion by pointing at Andy's plate. "Bacon is fat, but not spreadable.”  
  
Whatever it is that the others hear in Nicky's voice, it makes them turn to the Italian who is still at the sink, now washing the pan. Nile nibbles on her last strip of bacon without saying a word because she doesn't want to miss anything.  
  
Only then does she notice that Booker is the only one who hasn't received a coffee cup or a full plate and has not yet sat down, as if he were unsure whether Nicky should bring him anything or whether he should get something himself.  
  
"Um," Booker makes a sound in his throat. It is not an offended sound, but just an expression of his discomfort and he moves to go to the wall cabinet where the cups are.  
  
The water in the sink runs out.

Then several things happen at once: Nicky turns around in a lightning-fast movement, something gleams metallic and suddenly Booker utters a French curse, staggering backwards and staring in disbelief at the knife that is stuck in his shoulder.

Andy jumps up. "NICKY!"  
  
" _Merde_ !" Booker hisses and pulls out the knife – the knife Nicky  _threw_ –  with clenched teeth, looking sadly at the blood on the blade and on his shirt. But before he can reply, Nicky is suddenly in front of him. Andy curses too and prepares to intervene, but the table is in the way and Nicky is too fast.  
  
With her mouth half open in shock, Nile can do nothing but watch as Nicky skillfully snatches the knife from Booker's grip, knocks him with a short, violent blow against the wall and rams the weapon millimeters from Booker's face into the wallpaper.  
  
She can't believe that this is the man who kindly showed her the bed in France and apologetically declared a few minutes ago that he could only serve toast and bacon for breakfast as if that were a criminal offense. On the other hand, Nicky is the only one who hasn't expressed his anger so far.  
  
Joe was pretty verbal in the lab and wasn't shy about saying what he thought of Booker's actions, and Andy just seemed too exhausted and tired of all the shit she's been through in her many, many years to be particularly outraged. But Nicky was the one who soothed Joe yesterday and coaxed Andy with gentle touches into letting him treat her wound.  
  
And however, Nile expected his anger to be expressed, she didn't expect this kind of anger; this icy wrath that doesn't burst out of Nicky uncontrollably like Joe's yesterday but is purposefully and controlled and therefore all the more intimidating and frightening.  
  
Booker stares wide-eyed at Nicky, who has one hand still on the knife rammed into the wall and the other buried in Booker's shirt, holding Booker firmly in place, his face just inches from Booker's.  
  
"Did that hurt?" Nicky finally asks so gently that Nile wouldn't have understood him if it hadn't been for dead silence in the kitchen. And although Nicky has not raised his voice, a shiver runs down Nile's spine, because beneath the gentleness you can clearly hear an unsettling coldness.  
  
"Nicky, now is not the time to kill each other!" Andy cuts in sharply and takes a step towards Nicky, who doesn't seem to have the desire of releasing Booker from his grip. "We take care of it like adults!"  
  
Nicky doesn't move an inch. "If I had wanted to kill him, I would not have aimed at his shoulder," he informs her with an objectivity that is louder than any roar could have been. "You said we will deal with it the next day and I want to do it now."  
  
Although Andy's nostrils expand slightly, the warrior stops. “This affects us all, so we'll deal with it, Nicky. It..."  
  
"No," Nicky says calmly and resolutely cuts her off, which involuntarily makes Nile hold her breath. “You already addressed your words to Booker yesterday. And now I'm talking, Andromache."  
  
As a newcomer  who is not yet familiar with the conditions in the group of immortals, Nile wonders for a tiny moment if she is going to see a fight now and how she should behave. But to her astonishment Andy returns to her seat with her chin thrust forward. However, her tense demeanor indicates that she is ready to intervene should the situation get worse.  
  
Joe, who has never said anything or moved, plucks his toast apart, even if his eyes do not leave the broad-shouldered figure of his partner. He doesn't really look surprised, as if he expected something similar, but he doesn't look happy about it.  
  
When there is no further protest from his companions Nicky patiently repeats his question to Booker, "Did that hurt?"  
  
"What the hell...? Of course, that hurt!” Booker says angrily but makes no attempt to brace himself against Nicky, although he is built much stronger and taller. "You threw a damn knife in my shoulder!"  
  
"Good," Nicky replies and Nile sees his knuckles turn white around the handle of the knife. “Then you can imagine what it was like to be cut open and killed hundreds of times. Over and over and over again. They took blood and tissue from us, whole organs, limbs and bones - you can guess how they did it. "  
  
Nile puts th e rest of her bacon on her plate and pushes it away, because Nicky's descriptions make her stomach cramp. Joe looks sick too, the memories of the laboratory are too fresh.  
  
"Would you have exposed your wife to this torture?" Nicky's question sounds so controlled, as if the words were a tight wire and someone was pulling at it to make it tear apart.  
  
If Booker's gaze has been full of guilt and remorse by then, it now becomes cold and hard and he snorts bitterly. “Don't bring my wife in, Nicky! That is unfair and you know it!"  
  
"Unfair?" The repetition of Nicky sounds so innocent and astonished that it amplifies the underlying sarcastic effect. "So, it's fair that I had to watch the love of my life slashed open every five minutes like a pig for slaughter because the doctor wanted to review her sick theses? So it's fair that I couldn't do anything about it because I was strapped to a chair? So it is fair that I had to hear his screams, watch him  _die_ without knowing if it was the last time?” Each of his words is a carefully executed stab, unyielding as steel and Booker opens his mouth, closes and opens it again.  
  
"I...that...I would never have wanted this to happen. I swear! They should have just examined me, and nothing should have happened to you, that was..." Booker begins roughly.  
  
Nicky pays no attention to his explanation. “You say you and Andy were alone and just had your grief.  _You_ just had your grief. As if that were a justification for choosing to betray your family. A reason to hand us over.”  
  
"It's true! You and Joe always,  _always_ had each other! You came into this life together and are lucky enough to experience love like we can never have it again!” Booker peers past Nicky to Joe and for the first time since Nicky threw the knife, he shows something like obvious anger.  
  
"DON'T YOU DARE ...!" Nicky snaps at Booker and pulls the knife out of the wall, causing Booker to flinch and Andy to lean forward tautly. Nicky continues more quietly, “Don't you dare look at him as if you have any right to his support! You forfeited this right, Booker."  
  
He takes a serious pause and Booker glances down at the knife Nicky is now loosely holding in his hand.  
  
“Joe and I came into this life together, yes, but you forget the crucial point that we were enemies. It took years after we stopped killing each other before there was trust instead of hatred.” Nicky's fingers play with the knife rather subconsciously. “Were you ever alone when we found you in the icy winter of Russia, Booker? Were you alone when you and Andy tasted all types of wine in Bordeaux in 1902? Were you alone when you watched the soccer final in 1998 with Joe and then celebrated with him afterwards? Were you on your own when I visited your children's graves with you because you didn't want to go  _alone_ ?”  
  
Booker's face has turned pale and there is such agony in his eyes that Nile has to swallow.  
  
“The truth is, Booker, you've  _never_ been alone. Andy was on her own so much longer before she found Quynh. You say Joe and I were lucky enough to experience love that you will never experience again.” Slowly Nicky tilts his head to one side while looking at Booker. “Tell me one thing, Booker. Was our love not enough? Did the love with which we welcomed you into our family not  _count_ ? You've chosen to be alone and to isolate yourself, not to talk to us, not to share your suffering so that we could have borne it together.”  
  
Nicky carefully removes his hand from Booker's shirt and steps back, placing the knife without looking on the kitchen table where it leaves red streaks on the wood. “Instead, you shot your leader, the strong-willed woman who pulled your ass out of every gutter, from behind and made sure that she came into the lab as well. Instead, you betrayed your best friend and trampled on his pure joy for life, which envelops everyone who accepts it. I held him when he  _cried_ himself to sleep, Booker. And all because you were too blind to see what you have."  
  
With these words he turns away from Booker and goes to Joe, whose dark eyes show so much suffering and pain that Nile's throat constricts. Nicky bends down and kisses Joe on the forehead, his hands curl protectively around the back of Joe's head and as if on an invisible sign, Joe stands up and the two head for the door.  
  
Before Nicky disappears outside after Joe, he fixes his gaze on Booker, slumped against the wall. "Maybe you should learn what it means to be really alone." He leaves.  
  
Nile exhales in a surge and relaxes her hands from her coffee cup, which she was clutching like an anchor.  
  
Andy loosens her eyes from the knife on the table and looks at her, a bitter smile on her face, even if it cannot be overlooked how much the incident is affecting her. "There you have your first lesson in the team, kid."  
  
A joyless laugh comes from Booker, who is now getting the coffee cup he couldn't reach before. "Never make Nicky angry."  
  
No one has to tell her that twice.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> If you want to chat or fangirl with me, throw a rock at me or hit me up on tumblr @lovelikedestiny! I don't bite :)
> 
> I appreciate kudos, comments and hugs from afar :3
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3


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